After photographing the visuals for his photo series 'Kill Yourself' I sat down with Mackai to talk about his creative process and how his photos series came to life.
TW: This conversation and photo series may contain sensitive subject matter involving suicide, homophobia and mental health.
To view his photo series click here: Kill Yourself by Mackai Sharp
When did your love for photography begin?
I fell in love with media at a young age through film and working with adobe software. I started with after effects and I began to transition into lightroom as my abilities developed. I continued to mess around with the technical aspect of photography and it really blossomed from there. At the beginning it was mostly for fun and then some of my close friends started to pursue careers in other artistic fields like music which created a need for social media content and event photography. I was able to take photography more seriously as I grew my portfolio with those opportunities. I remember specifically a trip I took with my dad to southeast asia. Every day I would take tons of photos and spend all night editing. It was so gratifying to see the scenes I had captured and that created a passion that I had never experienced before. I came to realize those gratifying moments was a feeling I had to pursue.
What is your favourite subject to shoot?
I don't know if I have an answer.. I feel like I am most comfortable shooting with people. I mainly gravitate towards portraits and street photography. I love to create my scenes similar to that of a painting and street photography does just that. I would say that is my preference to shoot.
What camera do you use?
The bulk of my work has been shot on a Panasonic GH5, mainly with a zoom lens Panasonic 18-35mm that I can use to shoot landscapes. This lens also lets me adapt quickly while shooting street photography. My other lens is primarily used for portrait photography and my Mitakon 25mm has a super shallow depth of field which lets me create a beautiful background and definition between the object and the scene. I was able to invest in this camera after years of research. I love it’s adaptability and it lets me also film in 10bit 4k with an in body stabilizer. This gives me the opportunity for movement while filming which has been very useful.
Where does your creative process begin?
My main source for inspiration is music. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep I have a soundtrack. I try to explore a lot of new music as it keeps the flow of new thoughts through my brain matter and helps me with my rough concepts. Regardless of the type of music it is, certain songs open my mind and I am able to fill in the visual pieces to the audio puzzle. Once I create a picture in my head I try to relate ideas and concepts from my life and attempt to develop something concrete and relevant. My most recent photo series and my last film project came to me while listening to music. However a good half of my photography is the opposite of that creative process. I mostly improvise and it gives me my “unique edge” by not having predisposed ideas. My plan is to walk the uncomfortable line between having intentions and not having intentions.
What does your post production look like?
As soon as I get home from a shoot I upload everything to my computer. I do not filter out any images until I start editing. I never want to miss an image so I offload all my raw files and begin to go through. Once they are imported into Lightroom I start manipulating the images. I don’t like to stretch my images, I like to keep it realistic and I think that has become associated with my style. I want the beauty to be the scene and not a result of retouching. I edit one of the shots and then apply the same treatment to other images. I touch up each photo individually before categorizing the files and sending them off to my archive or my phone.
Is photography your only creative medium?
No.. hahah..I also shoot film and more recently I have been exploring performance pieces. I have done a lot of mixed media on canvas and silkscreen. I appreciate having my hands in all forms of art as it keeps me grounded and reminds me of the science and principles that makes art so profound.
Do you have any advice for getting over a creative funk?
I am in a creative funk right now. What I find as an artist is that our world is built around the morals and expectations of definitive scientific minds. So as artists we have a different way of thinking. For myself, everything is up in the air. Which is intimidating and can sometimes discourage me from doing what makes me happy. When everyone is going about their lives and I am working with something so arbitrary as art, it is scary. You never know if someone is going to like your art or buy it. So I will simultaneously put myself in a funk and pull myself out as I cycle through the realities of working within the realities of our world. There is solace in inevitability and it is a challenge in the creative eco-system when you ARE your work. Oftentimes when I cannot create it means I need to put an end to a chapter in my life and introduce something new that pushes me forwards to create.
Tell me about your new photo series
I have been working on a new project recently highlighting my experience as a sexual minority youth in a small community in Canada. Our country is often perceived as a world leader for acceptance of all races, sexual orientations, genders and backgrounds. But there are huge gaps in the way people view others. My latest piece brings the casualness of harassment to the foreground. Reminding our community of the ever present threat of intolerance. Highlighting the complicity us as a community tend to hold when bigotry plays out in public spaces. This piece allows for time to reflect on the present situation within the Comox Valley and searches for a way to evolve our collective ideologies to encompass inclusivity. This is something that has been hard for me to talk about and to open up to the world about but I wanted to shed light on this issue and encourage people to educate themselves. The intention is for change through real communication. There has been far enough inaction and denial and I hope this piece generates enough empathy for positive change. Likewise I also felt this piece allowed me to reach closure with the trauma I have personally been exposed to.
What do you want viewers to take away from this photo series?
I want viewers to know that these experiences are real. This is currently happening right now to the next generation of passionate and impressionable youth.. This isn't an issue of the past, it is relevant today. Though it is not your individual responsibility to call out others for their ignorance, it is your duty to stay educated and ensure you have your own beliefs and biases in check. I saw too much uninspiring complicity in my own community with the plague of intolerance that has been sweeping through the school district. As someone who has dealt with this intolerance, I know I would have walked away with less shame had I felt there was a community to support me.
Do you have any other new projects coming up?
One of my upcoming projects is coming early next year, maybe in the spring. I am releasing a documentary highlighting the lack of action to protect the coastal ecosystem of British Columbia. I was able to speak with a few distinguished scientists about protecting the health of our aquatic ecosystem and what is at stake if we are to stay unsustainable. I was also able to work with a few other local filmmakers and Pacific wild who all graciously donated a bunch of footage for my disposal. Once this is released it will be on Youtube, Vimeo, IGTV and Facebook.
To view his photo series click here: Kill Yourself by Mackai Sharp
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